It’s been a hot minute since I’ve done a post on Olivia. Lo and behold, she turned 18 months on Sunday. Yes, seriously. EIGHT.TEEN.MONTHS.

I will let you digest that for a moment.

Done?

She has an opinion on everything. And smirks frequently. Like, SMIRKS. Little baby corners of her mouth twitch upward imperceptibly and she squints slightly. Then moves about her business. Her very important toddler business.

She can sign dog, fish, banana, diaper, eat, more, want. She will often use them interchangeably just to make sure you’re paying attention.

She RUNS everywhere and is afraid of NOTHING…including, but not limited to, her own well-being. The child has no sense of self-preservation and will pitch herself off anything no matter the height. I must be part cat with the number of lives I’ve lost snatching her from busting her face on the floor or edge of something.

It’s as precious as it sounds.

She loves music. LOVES music. Especially music on TV. She even understands when a song ends because she’ll grin really huge and look at me and clap. She appreciates performance and demonstrates thusly. That’s my girl.

She is still chubby though a lot of it is slowly lengthening into toddlerhood. At 18 months, she wears a combination of 2T and 3T clothing. Size 6 shoes. So there’s that happy wardrobe change.

Her imagination is beginning to blossom. The other day, she crawled around on the floor barking then stood up and patted her belly, which is her sign for dog. This cracked her up immensely so she repeated it, totally oblivious to me watching.

She’s a such a treasure. My little angel. I could sit and watch her read for hours. I could watch her delight in a Disney song, clapping excitedly and twirling and dancing, forever. She constantly reminds me to find the happy in everything, no matter how innocuous.

We’ll pretend I was thinking something deep and profound there and not mentally calculating how much laundry I have to do.

she toddles to me, arms up. pick me up, mama.

she snuggles in my lap, finding the one visible patch of skin along the base of my throat and lays her cheek there. then she sits up and pats it happily.

turning around, she leans back against me and watches tv. I smell her hair, kiss her neck.

this is our moment. and in this moment I realize I want her to be proud of me. I want her to grow up knowing her mama pursued her heart always.

that you can follow your dreams no matter how old (young?) you are.

she still smells like newborn and sunshine.

I finally went through Olivia’s shoes. She’s received many as gifts. I bought her one pair. I figured with the Fall and nicer temperatures coming up, maybe she should start wearing them so she could toddle around outdoors.

I found a pair of ballet flats that fit her because they are open on the top so her fat feets can poof up out of them. Simply adorable.

And what better place to test them out than on the farm?

Whittaker decided to come say Hiiiiiiiiiii

mischievous elf

Babbling at the horses

DOG! (her loud exclamation for horse)

daddy took a break from manly-farm-labor to take a walk

I found a rock!

walking with mama

teaching her how to say hi to a horse

Then, Sunday morning, my mom comes downstairs with an early Christmas present! Boots!

boots! baby boots! I die.

Meeting Katy, the miniature horse

oh for cute

little horse for a little girl

walking downhill on gravel requires intense concentration. also. cheeks.

I love that Olivia has a chance to be around the horses at such a young age. All the horses my mom owns or boards are sweet and gentle. Some are more spirited than others but the fact that Olivia gets to be around them makes me really happy. I would hate for her to grow up afraid of these gorgeous animals. We’re hoping when she’s a teeny bit older to put her up on one. How fun would that be?

first meal

Oh we’ve come such a long way since that first moment in the hospital.

We went through latch issues.  I got a really nasty bout of mastitis early on.  We went through a biting phase.

Olivia is now nearly 16 months old and she hasn’t nursed in two days.  She was backing off a lot on her own already – only nursing for naps and bedtime.  Then, she went to one nap and wanted to nurse only for that nap. Bedtime she was too wound up and fussy and screechy and teething and didn’t want to have anything to do with either of us.

I’m conflicted and a little sad.  On the one hand, I’m so proud we made it this far.  On the other, I really wanted to get to two years and I secretly hope this is just a phase and, one day soon, she’ll want to nurse again.  Maybe it is.  Maybe it isn’t.  Maybe she really is done.

She’s an independent little baby who is rapidly growing out of her baby-ness.

I don’t know why fifteen months seems like a Big Deal to me.  But it does.  Not that she’s doing anything different or there’s any sort of explosion of development happening.

However.

OLIVIA IS FIFTEEN MONTHS OLD.

What the what?

I have cheeks for storing things like raisins and small toys

Yes, fifteen months.

We have walking.  Full-on, full-bore, screw that slow crawling crap, WALKING.  I’ve seen her crawl maybe twice? in the last two weeks.  Our favorite game is to say, “IIIII’m gonna get you!” and stomp on the ground really fast like you’re running.  She shrieks and toddles away laughing, constantly checking over her shoulder.  Then? She turns around and runs AT YOU.

So you run away.

Obviously.

Toddlby Tag.  It’s the newest sensation.

cuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrlsssssssss

She has ringlets.  Perusal of my baby pictures confirms she has my hair.  So.  I love it now and I empathize with her when she’s older and HATE HATE HATES her hair because it’s curly and thick and hot and fluffy and frizzy and hot and hot and HOT.

Right now, the ringlets are adorable as all get out and make for some stellar bed-head most mornings.  I have given up combing her hair except after baths.  It’s useless otherwise.

guacamole finger painting

Food.

She eats it.

All of it.

Well, we’ve run across the occasional thing here and there she won’t eat.  She hates lunchmeat or reheated meat of any kind. She’s very picky about meat in general.  She likes it sauced or heavily spiced and shredded or cut up small.  She adores all vegetables and fruits.  She inhales guacamole and salsa like it’s never going to be around again.  She thinks mama’s smoothies are the best treat ever.  Especially through a straw.

Graham crackers are the shizzle.  And the rule is, “One for each hand one for your mouth.” She will not leave until you comply.

She also eats ridiculous portion sizes.  Her little puffed out belly after dinner is hilarious.  But she’s happy and full and healthy so I’m not worried.

She’s also still nursing for naps and bedtime, which is really really nice.  I love the cuddles and the comfort.

Who let this kindergartener in my house?

Teeth.

Oh lordy, do we ever have teeth.

The front four on both top and bottom have come in no problem.  However, we have entered the special level of hell known as Molars.  Three of them to be precise.  And they are the worst thing in the whole entire world.  They wake her up at night and spontaneously make her grumpy during the day.  I guess the upside (?) is she wants to cuddle when she’s upset, which is sweet and sometimes she’ll drift off for a doze while cuddled against me.

the cute kills me

Her favoritest thing in the whole wide world is to lay on pillows and watch “Rapunzel” (Tangled).  It is, by far, her favorite movie and I’m completely fine with her watching it over and over and over and over and over.

And over.

And over.

If it means less teething crying and the chance for me to do something like write or work on my part-time gigs I’m lining up.  She giggles at the horse, babbles to Flynn whenever he’s on the screen, dances with the songs, and paces around the living room dragging pillows if the mood strikes her.

bukkit

She’s not speaking much other than babbling.  She says “mama” and “deedee” (daddy) and “dog dog wooh wooh” but that’s it.  Her babbling is getting more…specific? if that makes sense.  So I think more words are coming at some point.  I’m trying not to be concerned when I hear/see other babies her age speaking a lot more because I know every baby develops differently.  We read to her a lot and she “reads” her books all the time.  She loves Sesame Street and other educational shows like that.  Plus, she’s around four adults who talk to her all the time so I’m not worried.

She definitely understands certain phrases and reacts accordingly.  ”How about we lay down and sleep now?” “Where’s your pacifier?” “Do you want to watch Rapunzel?” “Come get in your chair to eat dinner.” “May I have a kiss?” “Do you want to dance?”

and then I died again from cute

She’s an amazing little girl and we are so lucky to be her parents.  And I can’t wait to see what the next few months have in store.

Saturday, we took Olivia to the St. Louis Science Center.  I remember when they first built it – grander and larger and shinier than the Old Science Center.  It has a domed IMAX, four levels of awesome, a huge wire and loop ball track that criss-crosses the whole front foyer, shows, and Two! Huge! Animatronic! Dinosaurs!

Hi, I would like to see your pretend crutches.

Trains!

The Science Center sits in Forest Park, a huge central city park that also houses the Zoo and the Art Museum.  Everything in Forest Park (with the exception of special exhibits) is free.  Free.  F.R.E.E.  If you bring your own food and don’t see any special exhibits you can have a complete, entertaining day trip for Free.

Anyway.

Hi

BAAAALLS

Since I moved away and returned, the Science Center has changed a bit.  New exhibits replaced some of the ones I remembered.  More stuff for various ages are around.  One such new thing is the Discovery Room.  It’s a giant playroom.  It costs $3 and runs for 45 minutes.  You walk in, set your kid down, and let them go berserk with drums, blocks, trains, ball pits, doll houses, medical toys, wheelchairs, magnets, hula hoops, water table, cars, puppets, books, puzzles, musical instruments, bugs (live ones, yes….)…..and more.

Trains with daddy

The little boy could NOT figure out why Olivia was playing with trains

Olivia had a blast.  The second we put her down, she was toddling everywhere, getting into everything.  She walked right up to other kids and wanted up.  She carried things around the room.  She did NOT want to be picked up ever by us.  She beat on drums.  She fished with a magnetic fishing pole.  She saw a real live rainforest cockroach.

It was huge.  I moved away quietly and let Daddy field that experience.

Daddy tried to show her gears. She was amused for a moment.  And helped by dumping them all out for him.

Gears are better on the floor.  Clearly.

They had a table of wooden puzzles that she kept returning to as well.  She was especially enthralled with the colored fish one.

Puzzle Time

When it was done, she was understandably upset. 45 minutes was not long enough in her opinion.  We tried putting her in the Ergo on daddy but she was having none of it.  I had also brought in my wrap so we found an out of the way spot for me to back-wrap her.

In less than four seconds, we had a small crowd.  Stephen murmured (as I’m bent over with Olivia giggling on my back and I’m trying to keep the fabric straight), “You have an audience.”

When I was done, one woman looked at her husband and said, “That was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.”

I smiled and we walked away, Olivia happily riding on my back.

We visited the gift shop where she quietly looked around until we passed a shelf of stuffed dinosaurs.  She craned as far as she could for one of them so we bought her a red one.  She spent the first part of the car ride babbling to him and calling him, “Dog.”

Until she sacked out holding onto his head.

I crocheted a baby dress.

An entire baby dress.

For the seasoned crocheters, this is probably not a big deal.  For me, who only started about six months ago and taught herself via YouTube, this is a Big. Deal.

It took me over a month to make.  I used Baby Sport yarn and a size 4mm bamboo hook.

The bodice is a single crochet zig-zag stitch.

The skirt is a double crochet with increases every five rows. So it’s super flouncy now. At the last minute, I added a little scalloped edge to it to finish it off.  I love it.

The back and straps are tons of tiny simple crocheted flowers using baby stockinette yarn since that’s all I had on hand.  It actually worked nicely.  I like the stretch.

The result is awesome.

Front

Back

And on her? Just as adorable as I’d hoped.  It’s a little big, which is perfect.  I’d hate to have spent a month on something like this just to have her outgrow it in a week!

I am so proud and so happy that it’s finally finished.

I didn’t follow any pattern.  I just looked up some various stitches on YouTube and started from there.  All I knew is I wanted to make a dress and I had a brand new one pound skein of this tiny yarn and some new bamboo hooks.  The rest just evolved over time.

Whenever she does outgrow it, I hope to carefully pack it away and pass it down to her for her daughter.  I just hopes she loves it then, too.

So.

My mama gut has been telling me for a little bit now that Olivia would benefit from one nap a day as opposed to two.  However, she’s only sometimes doing that and I’m a bit at a loss as to how to transition her to this while keeping in mind both her and my sanity.

When she was itty bitty, she fell naturally into the 2-3-4 pattern.  She’s nearly 15 months old (WHAT?) and is still pretty much sticking to that schedule.  Of course, it’s more like 2-3.5-3 because she wakes up at 8am and goes to bed around 8.30pm.

Which is fine.

However.

Lately, her second nap has been very VERY short (like less than an hour) and she wakes up in a mood that has all of us watching the clock for bedtime.

So.

Her first nap, though, is far too early for us to try to keep her up from the end of it to bedtime.  The logical conclusion would be to postpone the first/only nap until later in the day, hope for the best, then keep her up until bedtime.

I don’t want to force her if she’s not ready but I don’t think she’s actually getting any rest during her second nap given how grumpy she wakes up.

Therefore.

I am asking for those of you who have experience with this to lend me your stories.  Did you have a kid go naturally from two to one?  Did you have to aid in the transition?  If you aided, what did you do?  Was it better going to one nap or do you miss the days of two naps?

Disclaimer: Yes, I’m asking for advice. Please keep it civil.  Everyone parents differently and I respect and value all choices.  I ask you do the same.  Inflammatory comments will be deleted.

I had a moment of clarity the other day as I watched Olivia play. She rolled and tumbled on couch cushions, squealing with unfettered delight. In that moment, she was 100% happy.

Sure, she’s playing on my mom’s floor instead of her own in a house her parents own.

Sure, she’s playing alone instead of with a sibling.

But she could care less.

And, in that moment, she taught me to be happy Now.
Right. Now. And not be sad about what isn’t happening Now.

Don’t get me wrong. If I found out I was pregnant today, I would be ecstatic. If we found out we could buy a home next week, we would be at the bank.

But my little tumbleweed reminded me that she is here Now in this place and is Happy.

That’s all that matters.

she is the mistress of her domain

walking

playing

pushing

pulling

in charge of all she sees

corraled on the living room rug

secure

but free