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So.

My mama gut has been telling me for a little bit now that Olivia would benefit from one nap a day as opposed to two.  However, she’s only sometimes doing that and I’m a bit at a loss as to how to transition her to this while keeping in mind both her and my sanity.

When she was itty bitty, she fell naturally into the 2-3-4 pattern.  She’s nearly 15 months old (WHAT?) and is still pretty much sticking to that schedule.  Of course, it’s more like 2-3.5-3 because she wakes up at 8am and goes to bed around 8.30pm.

Which is fine.

However.

Lately, her second nap has been very VERY short (like less than an hour) and she wakes up in a mood that has all of us watching the clock for bedtime.

So.

Her first nap, though, is far too early for us to try to keep her up from the end of it to bedtime.  The logical conclusion would be to postpone the first/only nap until later in the day, hope for the best, then keep her up until bedtime.

I don’t want to force her if she’s not ready but I don’t think she’s actually getting any rest during her second nap given how grumpy she wakes up.

Therefore.

I am asking for those of you who have experience with this to lend me your stories.  Did you have a kid go naturally from two to one?  Did you have to aid in the transition?  If you aided, what did you do?  Was it better going to one nap or do you miss the days of two naps?

Disclaimer: Yes, I’m asking for advice. Please keep it civil.  Everyone parents differently and I respect and value all choices.  I ask you do the same.  Inflammatory comments will be deleted.

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image

I had a moment of clarity the other day as I watched Olivia play. She rolled and tumbled on couch cushions, squealing with unfettered delight. In that moment, she was 100% happy.

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Sure, she’s playing on my mom’s floor instead of her own in a house her parents own.

Sure, she’s playing alone instead of with a sibling.

But she could care less.

And, in that moment, she taught me to be happy Now.
Right. Now. And not be sad about what isn’t happening Now.

Don’t get me wrong. If I found out I was pregnant today, I would be ecstatic. If we found out we could buy a home next week, we would be at the bank.

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But my little tumbleweed reminded me that she is here Now in this place and is Happy.

That’s all that matters.

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red

On my birthday back in June, I got my hair cut for the first time since my wedding in 2009.  Last night, my husband helped me dye it a lovely shade of shocking red.

I’m having these moments lately where I take a step out of myself and say, “This is my life.”

Routine. Routine. Play with the baby. Furiously try to have “me” time during naps.  Spouse time after baby is in bed.  Go to bed. Do it all again the next morning.

Most of the time, I’m fine with that.  There’s a peace in my soul about my life and what I’m doing and the mom I am and the wife I am.  I may not be the world’s greatest at any of them but I do my best and my best is fine with everyone.  Especially me.

Don’t get me wrong.  I LOVE my life.  I love everything about it and everyone in it.  However, being in love with something doesn’t mean it’s always perfect.  That would be boring.

Sometimes, I’m not okay with The Now.  I think of my mental dreams and to-do lists and a depression takes a hold of me.  ”I only have X hours a day to myself IF she naps and what am I doing with that time? It’s not enough to do Y or Z.”

“I’ll try to finish it tomorrow.”  My mantra lately.  Tomorrow.  Tomorrow.  Someday. Tick Tock. Tomorrow.

So I try, on those days, to work on SOMETHING.  And I have my long-term goals and plans.

Writing.

Crochet.

Sewing.

Paying off debt which leads to getting our own place.

Having another baby.

One all leads to another in my mind and it’s that end result – the bigger family and our own home – that my soul really yearns for.  So the meanwhile is filled with crafts and writing and trying to cram as much of it into the naptimes as I can.  The rest is spent watching this little person grow and discover and speak and walk and run and NEED me all.the.time.

 

It’s exhausting.

And fantastic.

And scary.

And unknown.

And moving too.damn.slowly.

Sometimes.

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