one

Yes, ladies and gents, little Olivia is a month old today.  Crazy, huh?

This past month has been a blur of nursing, changing diapers, and trying to grab sleep where we can.  I feel like I’ve had a baby permanently attached to my breast for the past four weeks.  Stephen works from home a little more now and works at odd hours so I can sleep.  He sometimes takes over nighttime feedings to help me out a little and I cannot express how much that helps.

I never thought I’d be ecstatic to get 4-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

My body is slowly adapting to cat naps, though.  It was really hard at first and I’m sure all moms out there can sympathize.  The first week or two was incredibly hard because not only are you trying to adapt to 2, maybe 3, hours of sleep at a time but you’re recovering from a major physical trauma to your body – a trauma that would normally require immense amounts of rest to heal from.

Not gonna happen.

But we’ve made it a month now and things are slooooooowly getting easier.  Her sleeping patterns are still erratic but not nearly as crazy as they were four weeks ago.  When she’s awake, though, it makes it all worth it.

She’s starting to focus on objects, faces and patterns.  She loves watching the ceiling fan; she briefly discovered a small mirror attached to her Tummy-time mat; and she’s starting to focus on (and hold) mine and Stephen’s faces, which is incredibly awesome.  She’s also becoming a seasoned pro at holding her head up.  She’s still a crazy bobble-head most of the time but she has a lot of great moments when we’re holding her that she’ll hold her head up straight and look around.

We are so proud.

And tired.

But more proud than tired, I would say.

I am into week 4 of my recovery and things are going well.  All the swelling and bruising has been gone for a while now.  I can move around easily without much (if any) pain most of the time.  My 6 week appointment is on the 15th which I’m actually excited for because I love my midwife and I’ve definitely missed her.  Plus I can’t wait to show her Olivia.

Breastfeeding, while incredibly awesome, has not been without its hiccups.  I’ve had to deal with unbelievable engorgement, her refusing to nurse on one side, and mastitis (on the side she likes to nurse on…woo…).  But the mastitis is gone and a combination of nursing and pumping has helped flow issues and nursing issues.  I think she and I are finally settling into a good pattern with each other.  I’m bound and determined to nurse her for at least a year, if not longer.  So obstacles be damned, we will defeat you all and keep going.

So there.

The absolute best is when she’s awake and quietly taking in the world around her.  That makes all the fussiness, sleeplessness, uncomfortableness and general irritation completely worth it.  Her eyes are so big and she loves to play with her mouth and make little kissy faces and stick her tongue out.  She grins a lot out of reflex and I’m anxiously awaiting the moment that she does it on purpose to someone or something.

It’s in those moments that I’m so in love with her and so happy she’s here and I’m a mom.  It brings tears to my eyes most of the time when I think about how awesome this is and how wonderful she is and how blessed we are to have such a healthy, perfect little girl.

More to come soon!