Wait, tomorrow?

I’m having a baby tomorrow.

There are so many emotions in that one sentence.  And, yet, I don’t think it’s quite hit me.  I think it’ll hit when I’m actually at the hospital tomorrow.

Right, let me back up.

I just got home from my 39 week appointment with my very favorite midwife, Christine.  Two things happened at this appointment – first, she announced I was about 5cm dilated, which is halfway there.  In fact, she was a little surprised I hadn’t gone into labor yet given that much dilation and that the baby is “really, really low.”  Second, she stripped my membranes.  Yeah I didn’t know what that was, either, but it’s really uncomfortable.  Basically she separated the amniotic sac from the surrounding membranes, which can send all the right signals to the hormones saying, “Hey, let’s get this show on the road.”

So, there’s a really good possibility I’ll go into labor tonight on my own.

In any case, after all that, she asked me how I was feeling to which I responded with a very reserved and toned down version of how uncomfortable and in pain I am.  She asked how the baby was moving and I answered that, while I was getting my 10 movements in 2 hours thing, she’d calmed down a lot.

Then she asked how I felt about induction.  Then, before I could answer, she says, “I can induce you tomorrow if you want to.”

We’ve gone from “hopefully she’ll be here by or on her due date next week” to “she’ll be here tomorrow” which has sent both Stephen and I into a “wait, what just happened” mindset.

Stephen and I talked about it at length and decided that it was the best option.  No, insurance won’t cover it which means our bill with the hospital will undoubtedly go up, but Stephen said he hates seeing me so uncomfortable and in pain so we’re going to just figure it out.

How am I feeling right now?

An odd mixture of emotions all blanketed by a very surreal calm.  I figured I’d be jumping up and down with joy, but, like I said, I don’t think it’s quite sunk in yet that I’m having a baby tomorrow.  I guess I’m scared, anxious, excited, nervous, joyful, relieved, etc.  I hope everything goes smoothly and she’s healthy and I’m healthy and Stephen doesn’t faint.

And there you have it.

Here is the very last belly shot at 39 weeks exactly.  Thank you, everyone, for being a part of this journey with us.  Wish us luck as we move onto the next stage!