In Which We Do Something a Little Different

This past weekend, Stephen and I made another attempt at the “last weekend away before baby” and went to Chattanooga to visit some very close friends of ours (who were just married earlier this month).  It was a fantastically successful and relaxing mini-vacation.  Chattanooga is beautiful and I would live there in a heartbeat.  We had a blast, ate great food, explored the city, and hung out with our friends and some of their friends.  And I came home with a trash bag filled with consignment baby clothes.

Score.

Another very awesome thing happened while we were up there, too.

Olivia now has godparents.  We asked our friends, talked about it for a bit, and they said yes!  They were both very touched and excited and very honored to be asked and we feel like we couldn’t have made a better decision.

Godparents?

Yes.

Those of us who know Stephen and I well may think that a decision like this is a bit out of left field.  Neither of us had godparents and neither of us are very religious.

Let me elaborate a little.

I was raised in a Christian home.  Stephen was raised in a non-religious environment.  We both have a lot of respect for belief, faith, spirituality, whatever you want to call it but we both feel that it is a very personal thing and isn’t something someone can really “tell you how it is” – the most anyone can do is relate what they believe and why and go from there.  Both of us do not like folks who try to foist their beliefs upon others.  To that extent, our daughter (and subsequent children) will be allowed and encouraged to pursue whatever belief system she wants.  And we will be as supportive as we can be and answer as many inquiries as we can as her little inquisitive mind grows.

If you want more detail about my belief system or Stephen’s then we will gladly talk to you more about it at length.

Anyway, godparents.

The concept of godparents has roots in religion.  Traditionally, a godparent is someone who is present at the child’s baptism and then mentors/guides the child’s religious upbringing throughout the course of its life.

That definition has been added to and morphed over the centuries until we come to today.  Today, parents that elect to have godparents for their child usually come up with their own definition of what that personally means to them and what they are looking for as far as what role a godparent plays in their child’s life.  It can be religious or completely non-religious.

A few things that pop up when you do a search for a definition of a godparent:

1. Someone to help out either through simple things like babysitting, keeping new mom and dad company, aiding in anything they need or even bigger things later down the road like helping with college (if they wanted to).  There’s a whole range of ways godparents can be involved and “help out.”
2. As (s)she grows up, someone who acts as a mentor and a guide – someone (s)he can talk to, hang out with, be close with that will provide a solid world view and a safe environment
3. Spends regular time with her through visits, outings, parties, etc.
4. Participates in her upbringing as much as the parents want / feel comfortable with.
5. Occasionally there are special “godparent” gifts – cheesy, adorable, special, whatever.
6. Would be there for the birth – if it were feasible.

There’s more and varied definitions.  What it basically comes down to is the parents and the godparents and what they can/want to do.

For us, godparents are more of a mentor role – almost like an extremely close aunt and uncle.  We want our daughter to have people in her life that have her best interests in mind that aren’t a part of our family.  Since they aren’t a part of our family, they can be more objective should any falling outs between daughter and mom or dad occur.  They can provide a safe environment for her at any time.

The reason why this struck a chord with me is because the road to the fantastic relationship I have with my mom was a very rocky one.  I won’t go into detail but it got kinda bad there for a while.  Part of me wonders if any of that would have panned out different if I’d had a godparent or a mentor-type that I was close to that I could have gone to.  Someone to be an unbiased middleman between my mom and I.  Stephen has similar moments in his life.

So we wanted to provide that for her.

Liv’s godmother has a godfather and I’d talked to her about it a long time ago when I was curious about it all.  She loves him dearly and they are very close and he was very involved with her life.  That pretty much cinched it for me.

The one other part of being a godparent is the potential of guardianship.  A lot of parents name their child’s godparents as guardians in the event something happens to the parents (god forbid) before the child turns 18.  Stephen and I haven’t made a decision on that one yet.  A lot of factors will come into play as far as who we name her legal guardians – where we live being one of the main ones.  I would hate to displace her to another city in the midst of everything else going on so that would be a big factor.

In any event, our daughter has some fantastic godparents who are truly wonderful people.  I know they will love her and care about her as if she were their own and will always be there for her.  That gives me a good feeling knowing my baby girl has so many people already in her life that love her immensely.

Everything is starting to come together wonderfully in preparation for her arrival.  I am so blessed and so happy.