During our trip to St. Louis, I hit my four month mark so we took the appropriate pictures. It was great fun to chatter on with my mom about being pregnant and having a baby. She told me stories about when I was born and offered her advice on my baby registries. We went to Babies R Us and “ooooo”ed and “awwww”ed over the baby clothes, toys and nursery decor.
Coming back home, we had our 17 week OB appointment today. More blood tests.
The cool thing about today’s visit is I got to meet and speak with a Nurse-Midwife. I’m pretty sure, after talking with her, that I’m going to use a midwife in the delivery instead of a physician. The care seems a little more personal – a little more about “me” rather than “just another woman giving birth” which I like. Everything will happen at the hospital as home births are apparently illegal in Georgia which I didn’t know.
Major differences:
- They’re around more often from the moment I get to the hospital and through the delivery. They assist in easing the labor pains in any way possible be it walking around, bathing, and even drugs.
- They have a direct line to the doctor in case of emergency. With a physician, the nurses monitor you and call the doctor with any questions, which may take some time. If the midwife calls the doctor, they know it’s for something extremely important and will come immediately.
- No episiotomy unless needed. Physicians in Georgia automatically make the incision whether it’s needed or not. The midwife will see how the labor and birth is going before making that decision as to if that action is appropriate.
- No stirrups. Stephen will actually get to participate in the birth by holding one of my legs, which I personally think is really cool.
- Family in the room. I will get to have as many family members in the room as I feel comfortable with. Right now, I’m thinking Stephen, my mom, and Stephen’s mom. Of course, we’ll see how I’m feeling when I’m at the “omg, I’m in pain, everyone leave me alone” phase.
Our next visit isn’t until January and 22 weeks because of where the holidays fall this year. So, we have to wait another month to find out the gender. The midwife I met with today said if we wanted to find out sooner (I was hoping to find out before Christmas) we could go to one of those really cool 3D ultrasound places. I’m hoping I can work it into the budget in the next couple of weeks because it would be really nice to know for ourselves and tell our family what grandchild we’re giving them in case of any desire to buy gender-specific Christmas presents.
We shall see, won’t we?
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Tristina, You are such a wonderful writer. I so enjoy your blogs and look forward to more as time goes on with the pregnancy. Thanks for sharing. Love, Grandma Pat
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Thank you so much! I'm really enjoying chronicling everything as it happens and I'm happy people are reading it!
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Della had Jocelyn at home with a midwife and I am pretty sure it was legal seeings how her husband is a lawyer. She infinitely preferred it to her first experience with Benjamin. With him, they had a midwife in a hospital similar to what you are describing and still they found the hospital staff to be very intrusive. They kept trying to take Benjamin away for this test and that test. They finally had to put their foot down and demand to be left alone. I would discuss the possibility of homebirth with a midwife further were I you.
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I'm thinking hospital with a midwife suits me best. Home birth doesn't really appeal to me mostly for the lack of any sort of pain killer option. Plus, being at a hospital, should any complications occur, the doctors are right here to do any necessary emergency procedures. Two of our friends had their first babies at Northside with midwives and raved about the experience – no unwanted intrusions, they were left alone when they wanted to be, everything was very relaxing and peaceful (as much as it can be) and they loved it. Randy and Darci Nixon described the whole thing as luxury actually. =)
The actual letter of the GA law (and about 23 other US states) basically says that, while a pregnant woman can have her baby anywhere she pleases (or anywhere it happens because some happen really fast) a Certified Nurse-Midwife cannot attend home births or non-hospital births due to legal and insurance reasons. Insurance will not cover it and the physician they are attached to as a CNM would be liable for prosecution. That said, no one has been prosecuted for home births in over 30 years in this state and I doubt the state will waste any energy doing so. There are a lot of women who are midwives who attend home births who are qualified to do so but aren't CNM's (not legally certified) and, therefore, not legally able to practice in the state. And a lot of women have home births without any midwife assistance whatsoever – just family – which is perfectly legal. Yes, I did lots of reading to verify what they said.
Anyway, in spite of all this, I like the peace of mind knowing a doctor is right around the corner should I have any complications and knowing that my midwife is fully certified by the state and experienced in her job. And I like painkiller options. A hospital with a midwife is more my thing. Nothing against anyone who does a home birth – it's just not for me.
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Sounds like you have it all figured out! =)
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Hah, I'm getting there. Where you have your baby and with whom present is a big decision. I just want what feels the most comfortable for me, is best for the baby and is also something that Stephen is comfortable with as well. Granted, nothing ever goes according to plan so I have to try to be as flexible as possible, too. I've read a ton of stories about women who had this whole perfect birthing scenario in their heads and then one little thing happened outside of that plan and the whole experience was suddenly "terrible" for them. I'll be the first to admit this is brand new territory for me so I'm going to go with my gut, my feelings and the advice of those who have been doing it for a living for many years. =)
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Hi Hon,
It's great to get all the feedback, but you have to do what's right for you, Stephen and your baby. As your mother, I feel better with the idea of you being in a medical facility with all the necessary emergency equipment if it would become necessary. Emergencies aren't the norm, but they are also not planned and if something goes wrong, it needs to be dealt with quickly. When I had you and your brother, home births were just becoming really popular. I seriously considered having one. I'm glad I had the experience that I did. It wasn't intrusive at all, and the staff was helpful when I wanted help. I labored, delivered and recovered in the same room. You (and 4 years later, Ryan) stayed in the room with me. I nursed the babies right away, etc. It sounds like Kelly's friends had an unusual experience as far as staff being intrusive, unnecessary tests,etc. As long as you have checked out the facility really well, you should be ok. It sounds like the best of both worlds to me…and having had two 8+ lb. babies with no drugs whatsoever, with over 10 hours of hard labor each, the option of pain meds is nothing to sneeze at!! The no drug thing was my decision I have to admit. The drugs used nowadays are so much better than 29 years ago. Oh my gosh I'm sounding old!!! Stick with your gut kiddo. It won't fail you.
Love, Mom
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